Why mental health is suffering these days and what to do about it
It’s been more than five months since the first known case of Covid-19 was found in the U.S. Little did we know then what a rollercoaster ride and marathon run we’d be forced to endure for the remainder of 2020 and possibly 2021. Fear, grief, anxiety, depression, anger and loneliness have become common and pervasive mental and emotional states among those living in the United States. Sometimes people experience all of the above within a week or even within a day. It’s exhausting, to say the least, and it puts us at risk for more serious mental health issues if we don’t attend to these feelings. So, what do we do?
1. Validate
I listen to many people scold themselves for “feeling lazy,” or for “not being more productive”. I hear others apologize for their tears or their worried mind. Some wonder why they snap at seemingly benign comments their partners make. Others feel frustrated that they can’t fully penetrate their depression. And many find themselves running from their feelings in order to stay emotionally afloat. But judgments or denial can lead to a host of other problems like fatigue, futility and physical dis-ease, to name a few.
Instead of criticizing yourself for your thoughts or feelings, remind yourself that your emotional and mental states are likely normal responses to abnormal circumstances. Validate the fact that we live with the daily threat of a deadly virus, mounting political unrest and an unstable economy. Understand that your emotions or moods are not a sign of “weakness” (this is a common judgment people have about themselves and others), but a sign of the times. It’s challenging to live with the constant reminder that you can’t see your aging parent, friends or co-workers in person. It’s difficult to spend another day masked, and sometimes gloved, dodging neighborhood runners or grocery store patrons as if they were enemies. It’s depressing to hear that your vote may not count or that your job isn’t secure. Validate your feelings by saying to yourself, “it’s understandable you are down or anxious–this is a particularly difficult time” or “it’s tiring to feel sad or angry so often.” These are simple statements that validate your feelings without judgment.
2. Offer Self-Compassion and Encouragement
Now that you’ve validated your thoughts or feelings, it’s time to offer yourself some compassion, otherwise known as kindness and understanding. A common misconception people have is that if they are kind and loving toward themselves, they’ll become too soft or stagnant. But, research on self-compassion indicates that when we are kind toward ourselves, when we can say to ourselves things like, “I see you’re sad and I’m here for you” or “It’s okay, sweetheart” as psychologist and meditation teacher, Tara Brach, likes to say, we feel more motivated, less depressed and less anxious (Breines and Chen, 2012; Neff et al, 2007). Self-compassion research has been so illuminating that fields like sports and business use it to aid in motivation and performance. You’ll need to be intentional about self-compassion, though. Criticizing oneself on a daily basis is quite common and often unconscious. I often suggest that people pair compassionate attention to the self with something they likely do two or three times a day, like brushing their teeth. So, every time you brush your teeth, check in on your mental and emotional state and offer yourself kindness and understanding with compassionate statements. Or, set reminders to “be self-compassionate” throughout the day. It’s a practice that will benefit your mental health.
3.Take Action
Now that you’ve spent some time validating your feelings and offering yourself compassion, take action. While it is vital that we engage in the first two steps in order to calm our minds and bodies, it is dangerous to hang out in the land of thinking without ever taking action. This is sometimes called rumination or obsessive thinking. In other words, if I only validate my feelings and say to myself throughout the day, “things are terrible in the world, of course you’re depressed,” I risk being on a merry-go-round of negative thinking with no intervention. This can further depression or anxiety. On the flip side, if I skip validation and say, “stop your whining and get to work!” I will also risk furthering an already distressed emotional state. Negative rumination makes things worse while positive reflection can promote positive action (Rude et al, 2007).
Taking action is the third step because it is vital that you know what you’re feeling in order to properly intervene on it. If your action is a positive response to your emotional or mental state, instead of a knee-jerk reaction to it, you’ll feel better. If you’re lonely, take a walk in nature, or simply look at nature scenes on your television or computer. Nature decreases the stress hormone cortisol as well as inflammatory cytokines in a matter of twenty minutes (Hunter el al, 2019; Im et al, 2016). If you’re anxious, use your pre-frontal cortex and engage in a positive activity such as a craft or a sport. When your pre-frontal cortex is engaged in focused attention, it releases you from the part of the brain that actively ruminates when you’re not active. If you’re hopeless, create achievable goals for yourself, with concrete steps to those goals and begin step one today. Studies show you can increase hope through visualizing a goal, setting steps toward that goal and envisioning how to get around obstacles (Feldman and Dreher, 2011; Snyder et al, 2002). If you’re grief-stricken about the state of the world, check out where you can volunteer to help a cause you care about. Taking action allows us to feel less helpless and more potent.
Mental Health Facts: Conclusion
Many of us are not feeling ourselves these days. If we deny this, dwell on this or simply try to push through it without acknowledgment, we may not fare too well. But if we validate our feelings, offer ourselves compassion and then take positive action, we can get through the challenging times of today and have a better tomorrow.
References
Breines JG, Chen S. Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2012;38(9):1133-1143.
Feldman, D.B. & Dreher, D.E. (2011). Can hope be changed in 90 minutes? Journal of Happiness Studies, 13, 745–759.
Hunter MR, Gillespie BW and Chen SY-P (2019) Urban Nature Experiences Reduce Stress in the Context of Daily Life Based on Salivary Biomarkers. Frontiers in Psychology. 10:722.
Im, S. G., Choi, H., Jeon, Y. H., Song, M. K., Kim, W., & Woo, J. M. (2016). Comparison of Effect of Two-Hour Exposure to Forest and Urban Environments on Cytokine, Anti-Oxidant, and Stress Levels in Young Adults. International journal of environmental research and public health, 13(7), 625.
Neff, K. D., & Rude, S. S., & Kirkpatrick, K. (2007). An examination of self-compassion in relation to positive psychological functioning and personality traits. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 908-916.
Rude, Stephanie & Maestas, Kacey & Neff, Kristin. (2007). Paying attention to distress: What’s wrong with rumination?. Cognition and Emotion. 21. 843-864.
Snyder, C.R., Shorey, H.S., Cheavens, J., Pulvers, K., Adams, V.H. & Wiklund, C. (2002). Hope and academic success. Journal of Educational Psychology, 94, 820-826.
