As we begin a new year, many people are struggling with finding hope. Some are concerned about mounting personal expenses or the solidity of their jobs. Others are stressed about global warming. And the majority of Americans are worried about our nation’s future as we head into a presidential election year. Hope is what we need most in times like these and is one of the twelve tools to alleviate stress that I discuss in my book Stressed in the U.S.: 12 Tools to Tackle Anxiety, Loneliness, Tech-Addiction and More.
I had the pleasure of speaking with psychology professor and hope researcher, David B. Feldman PhD, who says, “hope is a kind of master variable, an incredibly important psychological and spiritual asset that allows us to thrive, not just survive, in a world that is often extremely difficult to live in”. Hope helps us make dreams come true. It motivates us to grow and change. It can have the simple effect of making you feel better or the broader effect of changing your life. But how do we cultivate hope and how exactly does it help us reach our goals?
The Three Components of Hope (and what “agency” means)
Feldman’s predecessor at the University of Kansas, C.R. Snyder, PhD, found that hope was comprised of three things: 1) setting goals, 2) creating pathways to those goals, and 3) employing the agency to follow those pathways. When I spoke with Dr. Feldman about finding hope, he explained that agency is different than willpower. While willpower can have a negative connotation in that it implies forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do, “agency is really about the empowering thoughts that give us the inspiration and energy to go after the things we care about in life,” says Feldman. He uses the example of the famous children’s book, The Little Engine That Could, to illustrate exactly what agency feels like:
“A low agency thought is where the story begins. The little engine looks up at this hill and says ‘I’m so small, there’s no way I can pull all this weight up this hill. Why try?’ Those kind of thoughts sap our agency. But then the little engine has the thought, ‘I think I can’ and it is this thought that gives the little engine the motivation to chug up the hill. And why I like the thought, ‘I think I can’ is because, at its truest, hope is not about deluding yourself by painting a smiley face over problems and obstacles. So many people think that hope is telling yourself positive thoughts, whether they’re true or not. But hope is actually best when it is grounded in reality. The little engine had grounded hope. It didn’t say ‘I can pull all this weight up the hill with no problem at all, because I’m awesome.’ That would be an unrealistically positive thought. Instead, the little engine said, ‘I THINK I can.’”
The Importance of Grounded Hope
Grounded hope is something Dr. Feldman writes about in his book Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success.Along with Lee Daniel Kravatz, Feldman interviewed people who had suffered traumas or tragedies and didn’t just bounce back, but bounced forward, as the authors say. According to Feldman, “positive thinking needs to be grounded in the reality of what’s happening in our lives.” Feldman relays the story of Alan Lock, a career naval officer who loses his eyesight in his twenties to macular degeneration:
“At first Alan’s friends told him to think positive, to tell himself he wouldn’t lose his job in the navy, that it would all be alright. So, Alan tried to do that—to not think negative thoughts for fear he’d make the worst happen. But he discovered the more he tried to do that, the more he felt like he was lying to himself and to the people he loved. He felt that essentially he was putting on an act.
“The turning point for him was when he admitted to himself that he had macular degeneration, that he had lost most of his vision, had lost his job, and that he wasn’t getting either back. It wasn’t for lack of trying, of course. He had tried hard to get both back for a long time. He had to ground himself in that reality before he could go on to ask himself the incredibly hopeful question, ‘What now? What goals are next for me and how am I going to motivate myself to achieve them?’ Fast forward, years later, Lock became the first legally blind person to row a rowboat across the Atlantic Ocean, the first legally blind person to trek across Antarctica, and he is now an inspiration to millions of blind people across the globe.”
A Method for Cultivating Hope
But what about our every-day struggles? What if we just want to do well in school or find a relationship? Feldman, along with colleague Diane Dreher, PhD, developed a single session, ninety-minute workshop that teaches hope skills. First, they helped participants set good goals. A good goal is a goal you care about, is worth your time, and is possible. Then they taught participants pathway skills. One pathways method is to draw a goal timeline that includes three or four steps to the specific goal, giving thought to what obstacles may come up and how to get around those obstacles.
Dr. Feldman gives an example: “If your goal is to get an ‘A’ in a class and one of the steps is to study 20 minutes every day, what are the things that could block you from that? Is it that you’re friends are constantly texting you or that your environment is too noisy? Give some forethought as to how to get around those obstacle”.
Finding Hope: Agency Skills
Last, Feldman and Dreher taught agency skills. “One agency skill is tuning into how you talk to yourself. Try to find ways of speaking to yourself more realistically and in a compassionate way. Instead of telling yourself you’re a schlump and there is no way you’re going to reach this goal, say ‘You know, it’s possible I can reach this goal if I keep trying.’” Included in the workshop was a meditative exercise in which the subjects were guided in visualizing their goals, embarking on their pathways, meeting and circumventing obstacles and attaining their goals. Feldman and Dreher found that the students who went through their workshop (compared with the control group) were much more successful in accomplishing the goals they had chosen. This tool is now being used in college counseling centers throughout the country to help students cultivate hope and achieve their goals.
Dr. Feldman’s Advice
You, too, can cultivate hope by setting goals, plotting pathways and recruiting internal agency. Here are a few ways Feldman recommends you can start:
- Sit down for ten minutes and think about the goals in your life. How are you spending your time each day? Are you spending your time on goals that are personally meaningful or just on things that you have to do?
- Set at least one goal that is personally meaningful to you. “In order to set pathways and conjure agency, you have to have something to hope for,” says Feldman.
- Set pathways that don’t take lots of time. Feldman emphasizes understanding the demands of daily life, especially when people are trying to make ends meet. He gives the following example. “If you haven’t read a book in ages because you didn’t feel you had the time, start by reading two pages a night. Or, if your goal is to start a hobby, plan to do it one hour a week.”
- Talk to yourself in a compassionate way and tune into what motivates you.
- Read books about finding hope. Dr. Feldman’s book Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success includes inspiring stories of people who grounded themselves in hope to overcome obstacles and go on to achieve new goals. It also provides exercises to help you achieve your goals. Making Hope Happen: Create the Future You Want for Yourself and Others by Shane Lopez, PhD also offers specific exercises to generate hope.
Finding Hope: Conclusion
Hope is attainable. Goals are reachable. If, amidst the hustle and bustle of life, you can get yourself to pause long enough and practice the above recommendations, you will be on your way to a brighter future!
For more information on Dr. Feldman’s work, you can find him at davidfeldmanphd.com
